


Kamaboko

by Eilwynn (Lyn_Laine)



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6869002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyn_Laine/pseuds/Eilwynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A female Naruto is put under Koharu's control.  From there, things... go a little differently.</p><p>Will have pairings as she gets older.  Important characters and pairings will be added as they appear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Koharu Explains It All

A little six-year-old girl with blonde pigtails in a ratty orange dress snuck up to the Konohagakure ANBU Black Ops headquarters doorway. Weeks of preparation led up to this moment. She made a hand seal - “Transformation Technique,” she whispered - and in a flash of chakra a new appearance zipped up her form, from bottom to top.

Now she was still a little girl, but a pale, dark-haired one with blue eyes, slightly older, in much neater clothes, with long loose hair. She looked at herself in a glass door-front and smiled.

She hung around the door-frame, watching the guards at the desk within converse with each other. When she thought no one was looking, she bent down and snuck underneath the desk, creeping silently through the door into the locker rooms.

So she’d had to learn two techniques for this: the shadow-walking and the Transformation. All in the name of a good prank, of course. She’d hidden on training grounds and behind trees in the Academy courtyard, and watched other people do these things. From there, through some physical practice, it had not been difficult to copy them herself. The chakra moving for the Transformation was the hardest part, but it had become easier once she’d figured out all you had to do was mix the chakra - the hand seals would do the rest.

She was walking down the long grey corridor toward the ANBU locker rooms, when a voice called out behind her, “Freeze!”

Kama looked around. That was what the Transformation had been for. She now looked exactly like a well-known ANBU Captain’s daughter, who Kama had learned through careful observation often came to find her father at work.

She blinked big innocent eyes up at the ANBU. “I was looking for my Daddy,” she said plaintively. “Once I find him I’ll leave.”

The ANBU gave her a chakra scan once, but Kama’s original form was so similar to the little girl’s that nothing came up on his radar.

“Find your father and go,” he said, nodding and leaving out through the front desk.

Kama hurried into the long rows of ANBU locker rooms. It was early in the morning, and no one was around. The locker doors all stood open. No one had the balls to break into Black Ops headquarters, not even grown ninja.

Kama smirked and took the bottle of itching powder out of her pocket.

-

It slowly crept throughout the Blacks Ops force throughout the day. The Black Ops at the desk, the Black Ops on guard, even the hardened soldiers sent out on various missions - they all started itching. Uncontrollably.

Slowly it got worse. And worse. Until they’d stopped, scratching their fingers all over their bodies.

Finally, they opened up their vests - and found them coated with itching powder. A message had been written in white paint on the inside of each and every vest:

Uzumaki Kamaboko Was Here!

-

Two very angry ANBU showed up on the Uzumaki girl’s doorstep by sunset, sent by the Hokage and his advisors themselves.

“She has her own apartment? She’s six!”

“They say the orphanage couldn’t handle her anymore - demanded she be sent off on her own. She has an established family name, and you know she’s in the Hokage’s pocket, so he allowed it.”

“She’s still six! You know the only reason she’s allowed to get away with these things is because she lives alone!”

“Do you want to try volunteering to take the little brat?” There was a pounding on the front door. “Uzumaki! Open up!”

The door swung open and that thrice-damned little girl was standing there, in ratty orange clothes, all cute and blonde pigtailed with big blue eyes, a shit-eating grin plastered over her face. The unusually sharp incisor teeth and the whisker shaped cheek markings didn’t help. Made her look like a damn fox.

“Hello, gentlemen,” she said in a high, smug voice, and then proceeded to cackle with high shrieks of laughter, clutching her stomach, right in front of them. ANBU wore masks, but their fury was palpable in the air.

The Captain upped his killing intent a little. The little girl laughed harder.

“Uzumaki, you have a meeting with the Hokage and his advisors.” He grabbed her arm a little harder than was necessary. “Come with me.”

-

The Hokage’s office was vast with huge windows. A gold-gilded mahogany desk sat in the center of the room, the walls were hung with prized calligraphy scrolls, and a small side door led to a mini library full of valuable books and scrolls. The Hokage, leader of Konohagakure, and his two advisors were all ancient. Tiny little old people in robes. The man with the goatee and the wood-pipe was the Hokage himself, Sarutobi Hiruzen, and the man with the glasses was Homura.

And the woman to Kama’s left was the she-witch herself, Koharu. A formidable old woman with thin lips and a tight bun of silver hair. If you didn’t look too close, the things decorating her hair looked like the kind of thing you might find in the bun of a geisha or a Daimyo’s daughter. You looked closer and discovered they were senbon needles, capable of poking a man’s eye out. A relic from Koharu’s seductress days.

Not that Kama liked imagining Koharu having sex. Ew.

Yeah, she knew what sex was. She’d been in bookstores. The pornography and erotic novels sections always had pictures.

“You know, Pops,” said Kama, pointing at the Hokage’s wood-pipe, “that thing’s gonna give you lung cancer.”

“Where did you learn about lung cancer?”

“My last check-up with the doctor’s.”

“Why did you have that look on your face at the beginning of the meeting?”

“I was imagining Koharu having sex.”

“Wait - you know what sex is?!”

Homura and Hiruzen looked utterly bewildered. Koharu sighed. “The point, boys.” 

“Why do you call them boys?”

“Because I can remember when they were boys. We used to be a team,” said Koharu dryly. “Kama, how did you put itching powder in the ANBU uniforms?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Kama, crossing her arms.

Koharu was deadpan. “Your name was in all the uniforms.”

Kama lifted her chin. “I’ve been framed.”

Koharu sighed. “Kamaboko -”

“It’s Kama!”

“Kamaboko.” Koharu glared meaningfully. “Why do you insist on being so contrary?!”

“Because everyone ignores me when I’m not contrary.” Kama pouted.

Koharu’s face revealed nothing. “We don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, Granny. There’s a reason I don’t have any friends. You know nobody in the village likes me.” Homura and Hiruzen winced at her bluntness. Koharu was more firm.

“We know it was you, now how did you do it?”

Kama sighed, as if she were the one explaining something to a child, not the reverse. “I learned shadow-walking and the Transformation Technique from spying on a bunch of ninja and Academy students,” she muttered.

Koharu paused. “You learned shadow walking and the Transformation from watching other people do it a few times… and then you used those two basic Academy techniques to sneak into Black Ops headquarters?”

“Eh. I knew it’d be easy. Most ANBU figure, the only time anyone would be stupid enough to break through their doors is in a full frontal assault. I pride myself on my stupidity.”

“Where did you learn the word ‘assault’?”

“Spying on the ninja.” Kama put her hands behind her back, smiling proudly. 

Koharu’s eyes narrowed in a ‘not sure if this is bullshit’ sort of expression, and Kama laughed. Loudly.

“Kama. Please leave the room,” said Koharu suddenly, her expression closing.

“Aww, come on, I promise I won’t laugh again -!”

“Now!”

-

A silencing genjutsu had to be placed around the Hokage’s office, because the conversation within got rather… loud.

“You are stifling that girl’s potential!” Koharu pounded a fist against the table. “You have to tell her about the demon and her parents! Her training must start early! It is imperative!”

“Koharu,” Hiruzen sighed, pinching his nose between his fingers to stifle an oncoming headache, “she is just a little girl -”

“You look at her and you see a little girl. You know what I see? I see her for what she is! I see her how the enemy will see her! As a jinchuuriki, a demon container, from famous ninja parents, with all the potential for great things! And if you stifle that potential now, and let those prejudiced Academy teachers get ahold of her, that girl may be crippled for life! She is not some troublemaking little boy who everyone will forgive, Hokage-sama! She is a girl, and she cannot afford to look stupid! Trust me! I know! I was one of the first kunoichi out there in the field, that was me!

“One day we may have to rely on her to pull us out of the red. That is why her father sealed that monster away inside her before he died. And if you do not help her now, I don’t know if I will trust her to be able to pull us out of the red later.

“Making a law saying no one’s allowed to talk about the monster, hiding her parentage, and ignoring the problem isn’t good enough anymore. She is stifled, she has no way to express herself, no friends and family, it is why she does the things that she does -!”

“So you would suggest I give a girl with no experience of friends and family all the tools to become a weapon of war?” Hiruzen snapped.

“I was never suggesting that!”

“Yes, you were!”

“No, you assumed that, you did not let me finish! That girl is six years old, and she can figure out for herself what sex is, what ‘full frontal assault’ means, she learned about the causes of lung cancer from the doctor’s when she was five, and she can use psychological tactics to break into ANBU using a Transformation technique and shadow walking. And she is angry, and she follows no rules. Ignoring her now could be suicidal.

“So what I propose is this. We give her a kunoichi arts teacher - a female mentor, someone closer to her age, someone to look up to. And we teach her the mentality behind being a ninja through those arts. At the same time, we tell her about the demon and her parents, and we give her the Uzumaki clan scrolls, giving her a connection to her mother. We all know Jiraiya will teach her the father’s techniques, but what about the mother’s? All the people who know them are dead! Would you have Mito’s heiress, Kushina’s heiress, not know how to write a seal?”

“... I do not agree to this,” said Hiruzen at last.

“You do not have to,” said Koharu coldly, straightening. “As the only female member of the elders council, you gave me control over the next female jinchuuriki years ago.”

-

“Kama,” said Koharu, sitting Kama down in front of her personal desk in her own office a few minutes later, “it is time.”

“What, for my punishment? Are you going to whip me or something?” said Kama, her feet up on the desk and a toothpick between her teeth.

“No, you impudent little girl, and get your feet off the desk.”

Kama grinned, but removed her feet.

Granny Koharu’s office was cozier. It had a little stove with a kettle and some cupboards, the smaller desk was polished oak, and a flower arrangement sat below a bookcase on the other side of the desk.

“It is not time for punishment,” said Koharu. “It is time for the truth.”

Kama straightened. Hope formed in her stomach, rising up into her chest, but she was suspicious. “... The truth about what?” she asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Everything. Ask me anything you’d like and I will answer honestly.” Koharu sat back. “Ask me all the questions you’ve always asked me when I’ve stopped by to drop off your checks, the kinds of questions I’ve never been able to answer before.”

Kama’s eyes widened. There was a moment of silence… and then it all came out at once. “Who were my parents? How did they die? Why doesn’t anyone like me? How come I’m allowed to live on my own? Where does my surname come from?”

“There we are. That’s what I was looking for,” said Koharu. “Would you like to hear a story? The only rule is, you can’t tell anyone any of what you are about to hear.”

Kama nodded quickly, sitting forward eagerly. “Yeah! A story, a story!”

Koharu smiled. “Okay.

“You have heard of the tailed beasts, yes? There are nine, malignant beings made from chakra with powers that are supernatural, even by the standards of a ninja. The nine tailed demon fox is native to Fire Country and Konoha.

“Uchiha Madara was the first to control it, then later Senjuu Hashirama, the First Hokage, sealed it away. But what most people don’t know is this: He sealed it away inside a person.

“You see, the Senjuu have cousins known as the Uzumaki. The Senjuu founded a Hidden Village in Fire known as Konoha, the Uzumaki founded a Hidden Village in Whirlpool known as Uzu. But they are distantly related. The Uzumaki have huge chakra coils and extremely strong chakra. It is their bloodline gift, and it leads to all sorts of special abilities, from longevity to supernatural healing. It also makes them uniquely fit to hold a demon. Demon containers, by the way, are known as jinchuuriki.

“The Uzumaki sent over a woman named Mito, to become Hashirama’s wife in an arranged marriage and to house the Kyuubi, the nine tailed demon fox. 

“Mito long outlived Hashirama, but when it was time for her to die, a new vessel would have to be chosen. Your mother was chosen, Kama - her name was Kushina. She was sent from Uzu to Konoha, to become a Konoha ninja and the next host for the Kyuubi. Yet again, she faced no hatred from the village, because nobody knew the truth of what she was. Then the Uzumaki and their village were destroyed by Suna and Iwa forces in the Third Great Ninja War - their enormous power was feared, you see, and Uzu was always on Konoha’s side. And so Kushina was all that was left. There may have been survivors of the Uzumaki massacre, but they scattered to the several Elemental Nations and are lost to us. To our knowledge, the only surviving Uzumaki scrolls remain with us.

“Your mother married the Fourth Hokage, Kama. Your father, Namikaze Minato, also known as the Golden Flash, was the Fourth Hokage. So not only was your mother a powerful ninja, your father was as well. When they became pregnant with you, their pregnancy was hidden from the world.

“They moved to a space outside Konoha for the birth, because jinchuuriki seals are weakened by labor. Every precaution was taken. Your father, who learned seals from your mother, was there to hold the seal in place. Yet it was all for naught. All we know after that is that the Kyuubi escaped and rampaged across half the village, killing everyone at the birthing except your parents and you.

“That’s why you have those face markings, and those teeth. You were conceived and grew up near a fox demon.

“Your parents successfully defeated the demon, but only at the cost of their lives. So what was left to do? The only Uzumaki left… was you. The demon was sealed inside you. The seal still shows up on your navel, above your hara, when you channel chakra.

“All the adults in the village know about the demon. But in an effort to save you, the current Hokage kept your parentage hidden. He said you were named Uzumaki in honor of the Fourth’s late wife, and your father’s name was eradicated completely. So no one knows who your parents were. That saves you from assassins who would kill you in their name. And the Hokage also made a law stating no one is allowed to talk of what happened to the Kyuubi and how it was defeated. So the children your age don’t even know you are a jinchuuriki, and it shall remain that way.

“However, in highly classified documents, you are named the heir of both the Namikaze and Uzumaki fortunes, and if you will accept it, you can also become the heir of the Senjuu since they produced no heir themselves.”

There was a pause. Then, “Yes! Yes! I accept!” said Kama, and Koharu nodded as officially as if she were talking to an adult.

“Very well. Until you are older, let me know if you are ever in need of any money and I will provide it for you. You should know, the Senjuu and the Uchiha share a bitter rivalry.”

“I don’t care about any of that,” said Kama, making a face and crossing her arms.

“Good for you,” said Koharu stoically. “Now, do you have any other questions?” She wanted to see if the girl had noticed the purposeful slip for herself.

And of course, she had.

“Can I see my mother’s clan scrolls?” Kama asked longingly.

Koharu smiled. “You can have them. They are yours. We have no surviving scrolls from your father, but his old Sensei Jiraiya of the Sannin can teach you your father’s arts, as well as control over the Kyuubi, when you are older.”

“I don’t know if I want to learn the powers of a demon fox,” Kama muttered, but she put her hands out longingly as the Uzumaki scrolls were placed inside them.

“Train hard with them,” said Koharu. “Also, I will be sending a female ninja teacher to you once a week for the next two years until you are of Academy age. It is high time you learn to become a proper kunoichi. I take it you want to become a ninja, yes?”

“Yeah! But not because of my parents,” said Kama, surprising Koharu. Kama looked up in determination. “I want to become a ninja to change people’s minds about me and make them acknowledge me,” she said. “So I will protect them. That way they’ll know I care about people and I’m safe.”

-

A brisk, official knock came at Kama’s door the next day. The door was flung open, and kunoichi arts teacher and student surveyed each other.

Kama saw a tall, black-haired woman with glasses and a bun of hair who looked like she had an even bigger stick up her ass than Granny Koharu.

Matsuko saw a ratty little girl in pants and bright colors, food in one of her pigtails of hair, posture slouched, chewing on a piece of food. “What is that?”

“Ramen noodle,” said Kama, crunching.

“And it’s… not cooked?”

“Nope.” Kama squinted up at the woman. “So you’re the new teacher, huh?”

“Yes. I am Matsuko. You may refer to me as Matsuko-sensei. And it is plain we have a lot of work to do.”

“‘Kay, Matsu. Come right in.” Kama smirked and kept walking as she felt Matsuko’s glare on her back.

Matsuko sighed. “Why did I agree to this?” she muttered, but a favor to Koharu was a favor to Koharu, and so she soldiered on into the apartment to do her best.


	2. Beginning Lessons

The first two things Matsuko did were:

\- Teach Kama sewing and cleanliness

\- Teach her grace and straight-backed posture, the head held high

Both lessons required some work.

“Why do I have to learn this?!” Kama shouted in frustration after the fifteenth time pricking her finger on a sewing needle.

“So your clothes look presentable, and stay together!”

“But I don’t need presentable clothes, and when my clothes fall apart I can always just buy new ones!”

Kama and Matsuko glared at each other. Then Kama threw the sewing down and stood. “I’m not doing this anymore! I wanna go play outside!” And she stuck her tongue out at Matsuko.

“You’re not going outside!”

“This is impossible!”

"No it's not!"

“Then you try it!”

“Fine. It’s like this -” Matsuko sat down in the chair - and looked up, deadpan, when it let out a loud fart noise.

Kama rocked with laughter.

“Would you like it if you sat in a chair and it farted at you?!” Matsuko shouted, infuriated.

“Yeah,” Kama snickered, “I’d think it was hilarious!”

Matsuko handed her the sewing. “You sit down! And start shaping up your clothes!” she snapped. And removed the whoopie cushion.

Cleanliness also took some work.

“You have to have a nice looking apartment,” said Matsuko, as she forced a bored and irritated Kamaboko to help her clean the place up. “You can’t just live in a dump.”

“Why not? I know exactly where everything is.”

“It smells horrible!”

Kama shrugged. “I can learn to live with that.”

“You’re cleaning your apartment.” Matsuko glared down at her. “And we’re also cleaning up your face and your hair.”

“Why?!”

“There is literally food in your pigtails!”

“I know. Good for snacking later.” 

Matsuko sighed and put her face in her hand.

Kama snickered. “You’ve got soap on your face,” she said, pointing.

By the time they got to grace and posture, Kama was in much nicer clothes, and had much cleaner face and hair and a much nicer apartment. Matsuko was exhausted, but by now she knew how to get around Kama’s guard.

“Grace, posture, and balance will be very important for certain exercises at the Ninja Academy,” she said - and Kama proceeded to practice walking while balancing books and vases on her head for several hours a day. She also practiced shadow walking, so that she learned how to be graceful and silent at the same time.

Grace, silence, sewing, cleaning, and personal hygiene - first five items, check.

Now if only Matsuko could get Kama to shut her mouth in the same manner once in awhile.

-

“Kama,” Matsuko asked one day, “why are you being so difficult with this? Don’t you want to learn to be a good ninja?”

“Yeah, but -” 

“But what?”

“But you won’t pay attention to me if I do well,” Kama muttered, looking away.

Matsuko paused, sympathetic. “Yes, I promise to praise you just as much when you’re a good student,” she said. Kama still wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Kama, listen to me,” Matsuko sighed. “I’m a good friend of Koharu’s from the Fire Country capital. I was briefed on your situation, but I wasn’t in Konoha during the Kyuubi attack and I hold no grudge against the Kyuubi.” Kama looked up tentatively. “I simply teach women how to be good seductresses - women like you. Women including kunoichi.

“My problem is when you come in with a big attitude. You want to prove people wrong about you, right? Well then you have to act like a good person. Not a big butthead.”

Kama snickered.

“Kama, be serious,” said Matsuko. “Act like the person you want people to see when they look at you.”

Kama looked down again. “I just… I’m kind of a tomboy. I don’t think I’ll be good at any of this,” she said. “I can punch a guy in the face or learn a Transformation technique, no problem, but all this girly stuff? I don’t know anything about this!”

“Well,” said Matsuko, “my job is to help you until you do. We’ll start slow, until you get each and every technique down perfectly. Even if it takes a lot of work. Okay?”

“... Okay.”

-

Kama knew how to read the Uzumaki scrolls - she’d started reading lessons at the orphanage when she was four. The problem was understanding them. 

The Uzumaki had what was called a bloodline limit, an inherited ability passed down from mother to daughter. Their bloodline was incredibly huge chakra coils and incredibly potent chakra. This meant that they had mastered all forms of chakra control exercises. It also meant that they healed fast and could live a long time and hold demons. They could draw seals on themselves and make it so that they healed faster by biting themselves, as well as healed others by having them bite them.

And the seals were the problem.

Sealing was complicated. A bit like solving a puzzle. A true sealmistress could slap a seal on someone just by touching them, but Kama had thousands of seals to write over many long years before she got to that level. 

Sealing seemed to come in five points:

\- Chakra changing seals (such as a chakra suppression seal put onto someone else)  
\- Containment/release seals (good on the palms for sucking up and redirecting attacks)  
\- Seal trap tags (which sealed an unwary traveler inside their depths)  
\- Sealing chains (good for holding in massive beings of chakra)  
\- Seal barrier shield domes (good as a kind of defense, for keeping things in and out)

Uzumaki clan members could also use wind and water ninjutsu, both together and separately, as well as pull water from the air. And they had a weaving, water-based style of taijutsu fighting, where they moved around the opponent’s moves instead of blocking them directly. Kama asked Matsuko (who was a former kunoichi) and Koharu if they would help her with taijutsu by sparring with her, and they said they would.

Kama would also need Koharu to put her in contact with a seal tattoo artist, for when she wanted to put containment/release seals onto her palms, for example, or chakra enhancing seals on her legs and arms, or healing seals onto her abdomen.

All the rest of her training, she would have to do herself. It all came down to her.

She also practiced the Transformation technique continually - she began using it to become a different person so she could do her laundry, buy her groceries, and go out to restaurants easier.

-

“I will be teaching you several arts as a kunoichi,” said Matsuko. “These arts include tea ceremony, ikebana or flower arrangement, cooking, music and dancing, fashion, zen, calligraphy and poetry, massage, acting to a role, and finally I will be teaching you in abstract the techniques for more ‘sexual’ arts such as strip teasing and sex.

“These are all vital things for a kunoichi to know, because kunoichi are often sent out on infiltration missions - whether they become servants, concubine, geisha, or entertainers, they infiltrate places, have sex with men, get information from the men, and kill the men. Not always necessarily in that order.

“So, let’s begin.”


	3. Fashion and Zen, Four Symbols and Water Weaving Styles, and Gardening

“Okay, Kama,” said Matsuko, walking down the street past a long line of shops with her student one day. “Have you noticed how some women just naturally seem to glow? They just naturally look good and you look at them and you think, ‘Wow, they’re really beautiful’?”

“Yeah…” said Kama, her eyes squinted as she frowned in puzzlement.

“What would you say if I told you any woman could look like that?”

“I’d ask why every woman doesn’t look like that,” said Kama skeptically.

Matsuko smiled. “Exactly. It’s because some women don’t know what’s called ‘color theory.’ What kinds of color shades you look good in depends on your skin, eye, and hair color. We’ve divided skin, eye, and hair color into four ‘seasons’: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. So what colors of clothes you should buy depends on what season you are. This applies to kimono just as much as it does to regular clothes. 

“So we’re going to buy you kimono, kunoichi wear, makeup, and regular clothes, all in your season. You got the money from Koharu-sama, correct?”

“Yeah, Granny gave me lots,” said Kama, holding up an envelope full of money.

Matsuko said nothing about the disrespectful title - for now. She was planning on dealing with ‘respect for your elders’ in a different section.

“Very good,” she said. “Then let’s go shopping. I have here for you two swatches - one full of clothing colors that are right for you, one full of makeup colors that are right for you. You have peach-pink skin with golden undertones, flaxen blonde hair, and clear blue eyes. Additionally, you look a lot like your father, though you have your mother’s round face and her cute beauty.” Kama blushed, smiling. “That makes you a Spring. Your colors have been chosen accordingly. 

“We’re not buying you perfume, because it’s impractical for kunoichi out in the field. Imagine if you’re trying to hide and surprise your enemy, but the smell of perfume gave you away? Similarly, you should always wear your hair up so it can’t catch on branches or be grabbed by the enemy. You have your hair up in pigtails, so that’s good. A ponytail, a bun, or short hair would also do. And no heels - only a true master can run in them, and that you are not. Oh, and diets are bad - you should always eat healthy and work out a lot instead, because that will make you stronger. Diets will just weaken you.”

Kama nodded. “Can some of my clothes be orange?” she asked, looking up with big eyes.

Matsuko sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes,” she muttered. “I suppose some of your clothes can be orange.”

Kama brightened, beaming, and made a little jump in the air. “Yay!”

Matsuko made sure Kama bought at least one piece of clothing in each of her color shades: ivory white, creamy beige, warm yellow gray, golden brown and medium clear tan, light clear navy, medium warm turquoise, clear aqua, true blue and periwinkle blue, clear yellow green and pastel green, light orange and apricot, peach, salmon, coral pink, warm pink, clear bright red and orange red, light clear gold, bright golden yellow and pale golden yellow, and medium violet and other light bright purples. 

They bought some lovely sets of pearl and yellow gold jewelry, including hairpins to wear in a bun for kimono, and for makeup they chose pink sorbet lipstick, peach blush, cornflower eyeliner, pearl base shadow, and cornflower ‘color.’ The cornflower brought out the blue in her eyes, the lipstick the pink to her lips, and the blush her ‘peaches and cream’ skin coloring.

Matsuko made Kama try everything on for her and looked it over with a critical eye. At the same time, she never insulted Kama; instead, she insulted the clothes for how they made Kama look. At first, trying on a bunch of clothes sounded really boring and Kama complained a lot. But slowly, Kama started to realize that shopping and being girly was actually kind of fun. That jump of joy when something looked really good on you was pretty incredible. She could see what Matsuko meant - in these color shades, it was like she’d entirely transformed. She looked like a tiny little woman, once her makeup was applied properly, and her jewelry and her clothes were right for her.

Matsuko also taught Kama the ins and outs of wearing a kimono, which no one had ever done before.

“This will be useful,” said Matsuko, “not only for seduction and infiltration missions, but for New Years. You can go lay offerings on your parents’ graves - plenty of other admiring villagers do, so you won’t look out of place.”

-

Kama started her Uzumaki training with basic Uzumaki clan taijutsu.

Speed and agility were essential in the Water Weaving Style. One had to learn to dodge gracefully, constantly moving around without becoming tired, bending and flowing around the attacks. Lots of leaps were critical in this style, and lots of weaving inside the person’s guard or leaping behind the person to be on the offensive.

So Kama had to learn to be fast, graceful, agile, and tricky.

Kama practiced her forms, and then used them to spar with Koharu and Matsuko. They helped her become better, and they even taught her how to use nerve and muscle attacks and dodges that emphasized speed and agility in order to make up for the female body’s weaker form.

Kama found joy in taijutsu sparring - she learned early on to love the adrenaline of a good fight.

-

“These next few sections, in various ways, are going to attempt to teach you Zen,” said Matsuko. “But before we get into things like shodo calligraphy and Nihon Buyo dancing, I want to spend an entire lesson just on Zen. I know this sounds boring at first, but at least try to listen, okay Kama?” she said, when Kama sighed and put her head in her hand.

“‘Kay,” said Kama, in a tone of long-suffering patience.

They were just seated at Kama’s kitchen table this time. Matsuko-sensei said you didn’t need any special materials to learn the mentality behind Zen Buddhism.

“So, the most important part of Zen is keeping an open mind,” said Matsuko. “This means to be ready for anything, any new idea that comes. It means feeling compassion toward others and understanding that we all go through difficulties in life. And it means never assuming you have learned all there is to know. A true Zen person does not arrogantly think, ‘I have achieved enlightenment.’ The true Zen person just keeps on trying their hardest and never thinks of their accomplishments. Does that make sense?”

“So… always be open to new ideas. You never know everything there is to know. You should just try your hardest and never think of your accomplishments. And… compassion for others? What about people who are mean to you?” said Kama, squinting in that way she did when her wheels were turning and she was confused but trying to understand something.

“Why do you think the adults of the village are mean to you, Kama?” said Matsuko simply. “Why do you think they keep their children away from you? Try to put yourself in their mind for a minute.”

Kama thought about it. “Well…” she said. “I guess maybe if they lost someone to the Kyuubi… They would be pretty upset and they would miss the person a lot. And they would feel angry, and need something to be angry at. But that still doesn’t make it okay!” said Kama, looking up fiercely.

“Quite right,” said Matsuko, nodding. “Zen doesn’t mean that you have to accept abuse. It just means to do what you did, and try to put yourself in the shoes of each person you meet. Don’t forgive them because they deserve it, Kama. Forgive them because it’s bad to hold pain and anger inside your heart - it causes you much undeserved suffering. 

“Realizing your attackers are only human, even if what they are doing is wrong, takes away some of their power over you. It means taking your own power back. They stop becoming big scary impossible power figures, and instead become ordinary, flawed people. Which is what anyone is, even a ninja, even a really powerful ninja.

“There is an idea in the world that a ninja is merely a weapon with no emotions. I don’t think that’s the way it is at all. But understanding that ninja are just people trying to be weapons, is critical to understanding and defeating any ninja.

“Think of it this way,” she said, when Kama looked confused. “Everyone sees you as a big scary fox demon.” Kama snickered. Matsuko smiled. “I know. It’s silly. But why is it silly?”

“Because I’m just a little girl -! Oh,” said Kama, her eyes widening in realization.

“Exactly,” said Matsuko. “And if they saw you as human, it would be closer to how you really are, wouldn’t it?” Kama nodded. “So you should see other people that way too. And when you stop seeing them as big powerful scary things, and stop thinking about how much you’ve accomplished toward them and just start working your hardest toward being a good person, things become what they really are.”

“It’s confusing,” said Kama. “But I think I get it. So that’s Zen mind, huh?”

“It is. You take away the accomplishments of the ‘I’ and the angry, scared thoughts, and you start moving your mind toward new ideas and new possibilities. You just try your best and are always open to new thoughts.”

Kama thought about it, smiling slowly. “I like that!” she decided.

“Good,” said Matsuko dryly. “I had a sneaking suspicion you might. The idea is that anger and hatred are diseases that eat away at you. And if you let go of the feeling that’s bringing you pain, even if the situation itself hasn’t changed, miraculously, you are healed.

“Now, let’s talk about meditation.”

First, Matsuko taught her zazen posture. “When your legs are crossed like this,” she said, “your legs are two and yet one. ‘Two and yet one’ is very important for Zen Buddhists. Your body and mind are two, and yet they are one - there is proof of this in chakra, which is a combination of energy from the body and energy of the spirit. Death is also two and yet one. When you die, your mind and body die, but an immortal and indestructible imprint of you lives on.

“Most Buddhists believe in reincarnation - that we go through countless lives until finally we achieve true enlightenment, or Nirvana. But you don’t have to believe this to believe in Zen.”

“You don’t?” said Kama in confusion.

“No. True Zen is a lifestyle. It can be applied to many different religions. With Zen, the minute you try something, you have achieved enlightenment. And all you have to believe in for Zen is that a part of you lives on after death. Even if that just means that you once existed, and therefore since you left a mark on the world - through your friends and family, or your ninja career, or whatever - you can never really be gone. So when you die, you are dead, but you are not really dead. There is an energy that remains.”

“So my parents are dead,” said Kama, “but they’re not really dead? Which means I’m not really alone?”

Matsuko’s eyes softened. “Yes,” she said gently, “that is essentially what it means.” Kama’s expression got her for a moment - it was just so innocent and ready to believe.

Matsuko then taught Kama proper sitting posture, standing posture, and breathing. This was not hard - Kama already had good, graceful, silent walking posture. 

“Now comes the hardest part of meditation,” said Matsuko. “And this is that you concentrate only on your body and your breathing. If thoughts come to you, don’t be angry with them. Just let them come and go, and always return to your breathing and your body.

“The idea is that we only have this moment. The past is gone, and we don’t know if we’re still going to be here in the future. So we have to find a way to be happy and content with the present.”

“So it’s bad to plan for things?” said Kama.

“Not… exactly,” said Matsuko. “You can glean lessons from the past and plan for the future. That’s fine. But don’t let that control you. In the end, all you have is the present moment. So when you’re cooking, you’re not preparing for something else - in reality, you’re already doing something. You don’t know if the meal will happen, but you know that the cooking is already happening, and that should make you happy. You express yourself in everything you do. Even a performance pretending to be someone else is something you created, and so it is you, and you are doing it, and that should make you happy. All things creative are Zen. The minute you create, you exist - not as an arrogant egotistical ‘I’, but simply as a presence. And that kind of thinking is what meditation teaches. To focus on your own bodily experience and find contentment in the present moment with what you are already doing.”

Kama tried this, closing her eyes and sitting in the right posture - and she squirmed a lot. This way and that. Her eyes squinted shut, struggling.

“With Zen, if you’re trying, you’re already doing it wrong,” said Matsuko without opening her eyes, meditating beside Kama. “Don’t hate your thoughts. Let them come and go. And in the end, return to your breathing and your body.

“Zen is not about trying,” said Matsuko later. “When we think of Zen, we think of someone meditating for hours every day or becoming a recluse up in the mountains. But that is not true Zen. That is enthusiasm for a fad. They have not incorporated Zen into their daily lives, so when they return to their daily lives, Zen will disappear for them.

“In reality, finding peace and understanding of others every day and meditating about once a week, or whenever you feel the urge, is probably good enough.” 

-

Next Kama learned basic seal drawing and study.

The Four Symbols Seals Style was the most basic of the Uzumaki, and two Four Symbols combined into an Eight Trigrams, which was what Kama’s jinchuuriki seal was. She knew, because she’d channeled chakra ages ago and looked closely at the seal.

Each seal had a key. In this way it was sort of like coding and ciphers - coding being words that meant other words, ciphers being loads of symbols that each meant something based on a key. So Kama learned coding and ciphers alongside sealing, and she also learned a lot about how chakra manipulation was supposed to work.

Different kinds of characters and symbols with different keys did different things to a person’s chakra, so in the end it all came together. It was just complicated.

She would use the keys and start at a symbol and work her way around, feeling out the meaning behind each symbol like it was a puzzle. Koharu recommended sudoku and crossword puzzles, and books full of strategy exercises, as another way to practice figuring out keys for seals.

So sometimes, even when Kama wasn’t directly studying seals, she did seal study. When she studied codes and ciphers, or chakra manipulation, or strategy exercises, or different kinds of puzzles, she was also practicing sealing.

-

It was very important to Matsuko-sensei and Granny Koharu that Kama find hobbies with which to occupy her day. Kama had a sneaking suspicion that this was because they were tired of her pranks, but nevertheless she did let Matsuko take her out and let her try different hobbies until she found one that suited her. She had a new ‘hobby day’ every week, and they were super fun!

One thing that Kama found immediately attractive was gardening.

She wasn’t sure why. Something about the peace and serenity of digging into earth, and caring for and watering delicate living things, really appealed to her. She started out just taking care of potted plants in her apartment, but she kept flipping through garden idea magazines and she missed being able to carefully and slowly craft over time a huge, beautiful, aesthetically pleasing garden. She dreamed of having a magnificent garden, free of weeds and brush, carefully shaped and beautiful, all to herself.

She admitted this to Granny Koharu once and expected a marked lack of sympathy. So she was surprised when Granny Koharu said, “Kama. You know, you’re the only one in Konoha currently using the Senjuu fortune. You could always just… buy yourself a house with a garden.”

Kama blinked. And then proceeded to jump around, cheering, while Granny Koharu looked bemused.

So Kama bought a small wood house with pillars and traditional shoji screens and tatami matting, way out on the edge of the village in the forestry around Konoha. She kept it clean, as Matsuko had taught her, as thoroughly clean and neat-looking as she kept herself. It was far away from any of the guard towers, anywhere important, anywhere with people at all, and for the first time in her life Kama found bliss in silence. And she crafted a front and back garden slowly to perfection, her own personal creation, with hours put into it every day. She gave the garden stepping stones so you could step around the garden with nothing being disturbed, and she covered the gardens in moss and grass and great tall trees and flowers and plots full of herbs and vegetables.

The whole point of a traditional garden was for everything to look as natural as possible, like it wasn’t (wo)man-made, even though it was. So Kama tried hard to tailor her garden based on that, and over time, she became quite successful.


	4. Calligraphy and Music, Chakra Control and Water Magic, and Karaoke

4.

“Our next art is calligraphy. With calligraphy, or shodo, you channel chakra and let it flow freely through you,” said Matsuko. She had Kama, who looked uncertain, sitting before a desk with paper, ink, brush, and name stamps. “Then you execute a set of characters, what’s called an ideogram, in a matter of seconds. 

“Remember how I said creativity is an expression of who you are? Shodo is the ultimate emblem of that. You execute it at fast speeds, and it is considered sacrilege to go back and touch up the work later. You simply become better through experience. Each ideogram must be a complete expression of who you are at the time of writing, with all your imperfections.”

“That’s scary,” Kama admitted.

“It can be,” Matsuko agreed. “But it also makes things interesting. Zen teaches that nothing in life is perfect, and even that trying for perfection is bad - when you’re so focused on your own ego, you can’t really learn anything. 

“So, through calligraphy, I am going to teach you zengo, which are Zen statements using calligraphy. I’m also going to teach you haiku. The other type of hanging scroll is an ink painting, and eventually if you want to pursue painting you can in your own time. But calligraphy is necessary. It teaches you perfect handwriting and the ability to say short, simple, poetic things.”

At first, Kama was a mess. She smeared ink all over the page, got ink all over her hands, and her handwriting was awful. She easily got frustrated, and Matsuko kept having to make her go meditate and calm down for a while in between practices.

But eventually, through kinesthetic experience, she learned the right ways to hold a brush and the various techniques involved in making good handwriting. Most of it focused on different kinds of lines - for example, the wide to wide stroke, the wide to narrow stroke, and the narrow to wide stroke. She also had to master kanji, hiragana, and katakana, because a writer could use any combination of these symbols just in a single piece.

It helped when Matsuko said to think of it like sealing. “All the different symbols add up to mean different things,” she said.

She started with one-character zengo, then moved on to two-character zengo, then multiple-character zengo. Zengo were Zen sayings done in calligraphy. A few of them interested Kama the most. Each Zengo turned into a lesson.

For example, “Nyoze” or “As It Is” - to accept life as it was, not as you wanted it or didn’t want it to be. “Fu Metsu” represented the immortal, indestructible part of the self that outlived death. “Mu Sho Ju” taught that you could appreciate a person or a thing’s beauty without the intense desire to possess it and own it. “Wa Kei Sei Jaku” taught the four most important tenets of Buddhism: “Harmony Respect Purity Tranquility.” “Za Ichi So Shichi” taught to think before you acted. Another saying said that Zen practitioners had emotions like everybody else, but the key was not to let those emotions and desires for possession control them. Another saying said to destroy all bad influences in your life.

Basically, the key to zengo was to say everything in a single sentence.

Haiku was also about brevity. 

“Haiku has three rules,” said Matsuko-sensei. “The first is seven-five-seven. That’s the number of on, or syllables, you should have in each line. The second is that the middle line should be a bridge between the two ideas of the first and last line. The third, which is often broken, asks for a reference to seasons or nature.”

Kama was deeply confused by haiku at first. First she had trouble finding things to write about. When Matsuko-sensei told her to write about the things that were going on in her life, she then had trouble saying everything she wanted to say in one sentence or three lines.

“I would recommend writing a journal entry, and then condensing it into a poem or saying,” said Matsuko-sensei. “Writing out your thoughts and your life is an important way to understand and express yourself. You can then summarize your thoughts in other ways.”

“But I’m not a very good writer,” said Kama.

“Then read books, and write a lot, and you will get better,” said Matsuko.

“Books?” Kama made a face.

“Don’t under-rate books. They’re not as scary as they seem. I’ll tell you what - go to a bookstore, pick out an interesting fiction book you like with simple words, and try reading it. If you like that, get more seriously into reading.”

Kama didn’t think this sounded that hard, though she doubted it would work. But after awhile she realized that Matsuko-sensei had knowingly tricked her. She came to love reading and bookstores, and to regularly practice expressing herself through journaling and then condensing that into shodo pieces. 

And the more she practiced, the better she got.

-

The three big chakra control exercises were Tree Walking, Water Walking, and Leaf Bending.

During the first two, you channeled chakra into your feet - supposedly the hardest point to channel and mix chakra. You used chakra as glue to hold your feet, first to a steady sideways surface, then to an unsteady horizontal surface. And then supposedly you could walk up walls or trees and across water.

Kama used a tree in her garden and a kunai, making a mark in the tree every time she made it so far and then trying to be better than her best. It took a long time, but in this way, eventually, she made it all the way up the tree.

For water walking, she used a shallow pond and got her feet wet a lot. But slowly, she learned to walk on water as well.

Leaf bending was hardest - you had to coat the leaf with your chakra and make it move without touching it. This took her forever!

But it was critical an Uzumaki master chakra control before learning ninjutsu. Otherwise, the lesser-chakra, more-control ninjutsu and genjutsu would forever be cut off to them.

Kama’s trademark Uzumaki endurance got her through, though. She could practice chakra control for hours and hours at a time before she passed out, which helped her get the exercises quicker.

Once she had chakra control mastered, she could feed chakra into her legs and arms to make herself faster and stronger - something Koharu noted, and something which she applied to her taijutsu.

-

“Our next arts are Nihon Buyo dance and shamisen playing,” said Matsuko. “These are the first instances when dress becomes critical. You will dress in beautiful kimono, decorate your hair bun, and paint your neck - supposedly the most erotic part of a woman’s body. Even kimono are meant to be alluring - they hide the body, and in our culture that mystery is intensely appealing.

“That is what you must put across in music. You must express your heart, or kokoro, through an act of shyness and mystery.”

Learning Nihon Buyo dancing was like learning taijutsu. You saw the forms, then practiced the forms yourself. You didn’t practice the steps and then the dance; instead, you learned the whole thing at once.

“The key of dancing is to know,” said Matsuko-sensei. “Not just with the mind, but with the body, since the two are interdependent.”

Nihon Buyo dancing involved lots of slow, graceful waves of the sensu fan, as she got lower to the ground, knees bent, and curved her hips back and forth, twirling around. Her body was rarely in one steady, straight line. Another aspect to Nihon Buyo was acting. Each dance told a story, and often the singer in the background told the story while the shamisen plucked and the dancer danced.

So next, Kama had to learn proper breathing control, which was at the heart of strong singing. And she had to learn how to pluck a string instrument in the form of a shamisen. This meant learning to read sheet music - which, after sealing and shodo, was not as hard as you might think.

“One important thing to remember in any musical art, or indeed any art in general,” said Matsuko, “is what’s called transmission. This means that as an older teacher, I teach you my ways. Eventually, you will be a teacher, and teach someone else your ways.”

“I can’t even imagine that,” said Kama, wrinkling her nose.

Matsuko smiled. “Someday you will be a teacher,” she maintained. “This means you should respect those in the arts who are older and more experienced than you, because they know things you don’t.

“This applies to any art, but especially the ninja arts. There is a reason why I call Koharu ‘Koharu-sama’ and the Hokage ‘Hokage-sama.’ It’s because - they’re in their sixties, right? That means they’ve survived at least forty years of high level missions, and several wars.”

Kama’s eyes widened.

“Age doesn’t mean weakness, it means knowledge,” said Matsuko. “And most professional dancers, for example, dance until they can no longer move. Because even though they are no longer young, they have more experience, and that should be respected. Do you understand?”

After a while, Kama nodded.

As Kama practiced dancing and music, she also practiced her shy, mysterious, mischievous act. She discovered that she was a good actress - a natural seductress. She also learned that she was excellent at what Matsuko-sensei called “kinesthetic learning”: she learned by doing, which meant art, taijutsu, and other ninja arts through physical practice came very easily to her. Matsuko-sensei said this was good to remember for her time at the Academy.

“The last lesson is the idea of impermanence in life,” said Matsuko. “We are not static; we change with time. The world also changes with time. Nothing lasts forever. We must accept this.

“All dances, all musical pieces, must come to an end.”

-

Kama made a hand seal, covered in sweat, channeling chakra, focusing on the air. She’d been working on this technique for hours, for weeks. 

But at last, it happened: water came rushing out of the air in a great torrent, splashing onto the roots of a tree.

Kama smiled. She’d just made water appear out of the air.

-

Kama’s next hobby was karaoke. 

She would go to different karaoke nights under Transformation techniques, and she would practice her singing in different voices. She discovered she loved karaoke and being up on a stage. She was playful and sweet, had lots of fun, and was naturally attractive.

She got lots of compliments, and even flirtation, which felt nice and was also kind of amusing. Mischievously, Kama would flirt back and then leave them hanging, wanting more, sauntering away.

None of the men knew she was just a girl.


	5. Flower Arrangement and Cooking, Whirlpool Ninjutsu and Complex Taijutsu, and Painting

“Next I am going to teach you flower arrangement,” said Matsuko. “There are two types of flower arrangement: ikebana and chabana. Chabana is all about picking a bunch of seasonal flowers and arranging them in as natural a way as possible, in a beautiful container. Ikebana is a sort of man-made sculpture in a vase or basket using plant-like materials.

“So, while chabana is supposed to look entirely natural, ikebana does not need to look natural. It just needs to be an artistic statement. You can saw off branches, pull off and reattach leaves, shape petals using copper wire, all things you cannot do with chabana.

“I will teach you chabana first, as it is somewhat simpler. Then I will teach you the four main styles of ikebana: Rikka, Seikka, Moribana, and freestyle.”

“Styles?” said Kama, her eyes squinted and her head tilted to the side.

“Ikebana is all about math. The plants must all conform to a certain skeletal structure, a certain shape, and must be placed at precise angles from one another, each a certain degree away from the others and the stems of each basic section creating a triangle. So geometry materials will need to be used. Each style requires different shapes and numbers.”

It was as hard as it sounded. First, Kama broke countless stems and leaves while trying to get the shaping techniques down. Then the mathematical geometry measurements just confused her. And after that she had trouble finding flowers of similar shapes that were different enough to all come together and say a message.

Slowly, through long hours of practice, she mastered flower arrangement. The most frustrating part of both ikebana and chabana was that the materials didn’t last for very long - even with special plant-saving techniques, five to ten days at the most. 

-

Now finally came the time when Kama mastered wind and water ninjutsu - separately, then together. 

She discovered to her delight that with her huge chakra reserves and improved control, she mastered techniques almost alarmingly quickly. She mastered shooting great torrents of water in different shapes, water holding and drowning techniques, and wind blowing and cutting techniques. There was even a nifty little ninjutsu where you could suck all the air out of a person’s lungs, seemingly an Uzumaki specialty.

Then it all came together in the Uzumaki trademark: the Grand Whirlpool Technique.

Kama had to go out to an empty training field to master this one. A giant tsunami or whirlpool made of water and wind appeared from thin air and slammed into the person - and if it didn’t kill them on impact, it usually filled their lungs with water and drowned them.

It took her some time, but finally she had it. “Grand Whirlpool Technique!”

The great torrent of water appeared out of thin air and slammed into the empty training field, leaving a crater and the entire field ankle deep in water once the dust had settled.

Kama grinned, sharp teeth bared.

-

“Our next section is on cooking -” Matsuko began.

“Can we learn how to make ramen?” Kama pleaded.

“Yes,” said Matsuko, and before Kama could start cheering, she added, “But I’m going to try to teach you how to have a balanced diet with these foods. You will cook several meals, and they will be tasty meals such as ramen, but there will be lots of meat and vegetables added to them so you know how to make yourself a wide variety of food. You’ve already started exercising regularly before taijutsu practice, and growing your own food and herbs, and that is good. Now comes the cooking.”

They made lots of soul food - homey comfort foods. Most of them used sake wine somewhere in their ingredients, along with lots of spices. Kama burned and ruined a lot of food at first, but over time she found her favorite recipes.

In ramen, for example, she preferred pork and chicken broth, soy sauce tare, thick and wavy yellow noodles, and for her toppings braised pork and chicken, slow cooked eggs steeped in soy sauce, and thin-sliced scallion and onion. Shrimp was nice sometimes too. She also learned how to make spicy ramen noodles, and cold ramen noodles for summer days in a kind of noodle salad complete with garnishes, cucumbers, and an omelette.

They also learned how to make dumplings called gyoza - Kama’s own favorite personal filling for the gyoza dumplings was ground pork, cabbage, spinach, shiitake mushrooms, garlic, ginger, miso, black pepper, and salt.

For curry, one of her favorites turned out to be a soupy, medicinal curry, good for colds and rainy days, filled with chicken, spices, herbs, and veggies like zucchini. Lamb curry was good, and included onion and brown sugar. Kama’s own personal curry usually included chicken or pork, celery, eggplant, green pepper, tomato, onions, apple, and potato, and it had an extra little “kick” of spice.

Tonkatsu was deep-fried pork fillets covered in breadcrumbs. Kama’s favorite katsu included yuzu kosho, a condiment made from yuzu citrus peel, chilies, and salt. The katsu was rolled into little logs with the yuzu kosho as a filling. 

Her favorite furai was made with seafood, served with tartar sauce and paired with a salad. Kama’s favorite korokke was made with potatoes, meat, and cream, eaten traditionally, with thinly sliced cabbage and sauce.

Tatsuta-age was a good finger food, nice for picnics and snacks. It included marinated chicken with lemon juice squeezed onto it, the chicken sliced up and fried. It also became Kama’s favorite boxed lunch bento subject. 

She liked her okonomiyaki pancakes made with cabbage, pork, ramen noodles, and fried eggs, the toppings Worcestershire sauce, mayonnaise, and dried shaved bonito. She couldn’t decide which ingredient she wanted for okonomiyaki, so in the end she just chose everything and piled it all on there to make giant pancakes. Yakisoba was served as a side.

Donburi was a more traditional meal. For Kama it was usually cured seafood piled on top of her favorite plum flavored rice balls or a bowl of plain rice, served with miso soup and lightly cured pickles on the side.

She liked her soba noodles served with slices of duck breast, accented with wasabi, the duck breast tender and rare. The scallion in the dish was sauteed in duck fat.

She was almost annoyed with herself for liking kitsune udon. Deep-fried slices of tofu were sweetened with a sweet-savory sauce and floated over udon and broth. This was a big meal for kids, according to Matsuko, a childhood specialty, not that Kama had ever had it before.

Her favorite stir-fried and sauteed dishes were cubed medium-rare steak stir-fried in butter with garlic and scallions and flavored with soy sauce, shrimp stir-fried with chili in a wok or skillet, and mutton and lamb stir-fried with apple. Her favorite fried rice was a “dry curry” fried rice, melding with bits of chicken and root vegetables.

Then she learned how to make several Western meat and pasta dishes with white sauce, which she really liked, along with potato salad and macaroni salad.

Tempura served over hot-cooked soba noodles was a good breakfast for cold winter days. Matsuko also taught Kama a few good basic items for breakfast for summer days, including sweet natto (a kind of fermented soybean paste with sugar added), yogurt, and fresh fruit. Every morning, Kama started out by having a cup of tea.

-

Kama was getting good at taijutsu by now. Her constant working out and sparring practice was helping, as was the trickle of chakra she could feed to her arms and legs. She was increasingly doing more and more complex forms, and had become quite good at Water Weaving taijutsu.

Even Koharu had trouble keeping up with her without going all-out now.

-

Kama’s third hobby became painting.

There was not only traditional painting - she painted on canvas with color and around the walls of her home - but also ink paintings. There was a huge capacity for mess and risk and color that she was a huge fan of, and she liked the way you could put forward such a big message with so little material.

Paintings of various kinds began decorating the newly-painted walls of her home, the kitchen now freshly stocked full of cooking ingredients and utensils.


	6. Tea Ceremony and Seduction, Seal Healing and Seal Ninjutsu, ASMR, A Finished Bedroom, and A Final Surprise

Matsuko-sensei decided to introduce Kama to tea ceremony by having her be a guest at one of her own tea ceremonies, alongside Koharu-sama.

Kama came early, so she could see the preparations that went into making a tea ceremony. Everything had to be cleaned, the utensils chosen, the hanging scroll hung, the meal and sweet cakes prepared, the chabana arrangement perfected, the kimono and accessories chosen, the neck painted. This was where it all came together.

Then Kama went through an entire tea ceremony at the teahouse Matsuko had chosen - from the formal clothes worn by the guests, through the time sipping tea in the waiting room, through the waiting on the bench in the garden, through the bow between host and guests, through the ritual purification of hands and mouth at the basin, through the first part of the ceremony consisting of the meal and sweet cakes, then the waiting period outside, then the second purification, then the re-entry for drinking both the thick and the thin powdered matcha green tea.

Being a silent guest sitting seiza for so long at a tea ceremony was hard, but it helped that Kama was in awe at Matsuko-sensei’s perfection. She put such a calm and serene atmosphere into the world around her, her movements so quiet and graceful. Every movement was deliberate, every word polite, in a tea ceremony. The smell of incense constantly filled the tea room. And of course, the tea-making had to be down to a science.

Kama knew she wouldn’t be good at tea ceremony at first, and sure enough, when she tried being the host, she wasn’t. The sitting still in seiza was no longer a problem, because she had to constantly concentrate on what to do next. Matsuko-sensei got frustrated with her. It seemed she was constantly forgetting something, or being fast and clumsy and knocking something over, or being too loud in the quiet of the tea-room.

“Zen and tea ceremony are strongly intertwined,” said Matsuko. “Pretend you’re meditating and act according to that.”

This piece of advice helped. And Kama easily mastered the little artistic touches, and the tea-making, which she came to enjoy. Kama eventually had to find a way to meld her real personality and her tea ceremony persona together - smiling yet serene, with cheerful yet delicate and artful messages.

She came to have her favorite kinds of ceremonies: Evening ceremonies called yobanashi, in which the tea-room was lit only with wood and paper lanterns. Dawn ceremonies called akatsuki, in which the room was dimly lit with candles in order to view the stone lanterns in the garden before the sun slowly rose. Outdoor cherry blossom viewing ceremonies during the springtime. She and Matsuko-sensei held a New Year’s celebration every year in which pure water melted from snow was used.

Slowly, she came to appreciate tea ceremony for the peaceful art it was.

-

Kama got her seal tattoos around this time: the healing seal on her abdomen, the chakra enhancement seals on her arms and legs, the containment/release seals on her palms. These were all permanent, unlike the coming-and-going seal on her belly button which housed the Kyuubi.

From there, she tried practicing the Uzumaki healing technique. In this, one bit oneself, or someone else bit the Uzumaki, and Uzumaki chakra flooded through them, healing them instantly. It was a chakra sacrifice for the Uzumaki, but not a huge one and useful for yourself and your comrades in battle.

Kama had moved on to more complex seal drawing and study. As proof of this, she drew all the seals for her tattoos herself.

-

Matsuko taught Kama almost all of what she knew about being a woman. Koharu sat in on their lessons to help with this part. 

Together, they prepared Kama for periods, teaching her about tampons, period kits for out in the field, and all-day pain relief pills. They taught her about vaginal discharge, the difference between healthy and non-healthy skin blemishes, shaving, sex, breasts, and they told her in detail about each part of the female anatomy and what it did. They taught her about STDS, how pregnancy worked (including the special little piece of knowledge that jinchuuriki pregnancies lasted ten months and labor weakened the jinchuuriki seal, which meant if she wanted kids she’d have to be pregnant for ten months and then have a C section), and ways of birth control to avoid getting pregnant.

They also gave her information on abortions and adoption agencies. “Just so you know your options,” said Koharu. “Kunoichi do occasionally get pregnant on infiltration missions.”

They gave her training in seduction, giving her faux experience (with them pretending to be men) in conversation, games, and flirtation. They also gave her important information on how to drink without getting drunk. 

“You’ll be taught about various cultures and international relations at the Academy,” said Koharu. “But you should also always prepare on a personal level for an infiltration mission beforehand. For instance, know what kind of man you’re seducing. Is he the kind who would want a challenge in a game, or the kind who would want a woman who is always asking for help?

“It’s also important that you form a seductive persona to wear when seducing a man.”

Kama’s seductive persona was already honed and came easily to her. She was playful, openly flirtatious, brightly expressive, and very chatty - conversation, games, and flirtation came naturally to her, she could get underneath the toughest armor through surprise and enthusiasm, and she became an expert at looking like she was drinking without ever actually drinking.

She was also taught how to give a good massage, and then was taught in abstract the techniques for a good strip-tease and good sex. Obviously she couldn’t practice them, but she was given the information nonetheless. Koharu also taught her how to hide blades and senbon needles in her kimono and hair decorations.

Lastly, she was given information on rape, murder, and playacting out in the field, and the psychological toll each could take. Koharu was particularly fierce on this: she wanted psych training for Kama so she wouldn’t get mentally unhinged out in the field. Lastly, Kama was given sensitivity training, so that she learned to distance herself inside and not fall in love with a target she was seducing.

-

And lastly, Kama learned how to slap a seal on someone just by touching them. "HA!" she shouted, the first time she successfully clapped a seal onto her arm. Then, with a sound and another touch, she removed it. Triumph filled her. 

Her next few years at the Academy would focus on learning how to use sealing as a method of attack. This went back to the five points of sealing: seal trap tags, containment/release seals, chakra changing seals, seal barriers, and sealing chains.

She started as early as she could, because she knew she had a long way to go.

-

Kama’s final hobby became ASMR videos. She first discovered them as a way to relax before bed and, inspired, she put on her calm, sweet, smiling ‘tea ceremony persona’ to begin doing and posting them herself. Her username was SeasideDreams, a nod to her Uzumaki heritage and her penchant for listening to ASMR right before bed. She made a little logo for herself with sea sounds playing in the background at the start of every video. 

She liked whispers, tapping, crinkles, and her typical topics include tea-brewing, making and chewing food and sweets, massage, fashion and shopping sharing, hair brushing and playing, spa roleplays, arts and crafts, page turning and book reading, and calm nature visualizations.

-

At the end of it all, Kama’s bedroom was a space that was solely hers, an expression of herself that she had crafted over the past two years.

Her room was a strange mix between a design museum and a fashion boutique - trendy but with a unique style. In her closet, mingled with kunoichi outfits and kimono were dresses, belts, and ballet flats, as well as countless purses and makeup bags, all in Spring colors. Taped above her bed were pictures of all the places she wanted to travel to - lots of nature, big mountains and forests and lakes - as well as a sign that said, “Reinvent Yourself.” A bookshelf was above the collage of pictures and the sign.

Her walls were painted with fanciful designs that she had made herself. Her posters had strong female movie characters on them - mostly fantasy and ninja fiction. She had a desk with a calendar as a schedule above it, and a laptop on it with links to lots of blogs and vlogs.

There was a sliding shoji screen door leading out to the porch overlooking the back garden - she liked to open it and sit on the porch with a cup of tea each morning to watch the sunrise over the treetops of the forest. So she fell asleep to the sound of chirping crickets and woke up to the sun rising over the forest.

-

“So… you’re done with my kunoichi lessons and I’m starting at the Academy soon… does that mean you’re going back to the capital?” Kama muttered, looking down, trying not to seem upset. Crying was for babies, and she’d told herself to stop doing it a long time ago. Emotions weren’t supposed to run her life.

Matsuko and Koharu were standing in front of Kama’s house after her very last kunoichi arts lesson. They shared a look.

“Well… actually, Kama…” Kama looked up quickly when Matsuko hesitated. Matsuko looked away, purposefully nonchalant. “My two-year stay here has convinced me. I’m going to stay in Konoha and try being a ninja again.”

Kama’s face brightened - she suddenly cheered and ran at Matsuko in a giant hug, tears now hidden in her eyes. Matsuko and Koharu laughed.

Both of them knew the truth - that Matsuko was staying for Kama. They both had agreed she needed all the support she could get.


	7. A Tale of Two Friendships

Matsuko-sensei and Koharu-sama took Kama to sign up for the Konoha Ninja Academy, in place of her parents. Kama felt pretty good about herself as she walked with one of them on either side of her through the doors with a rush of warm air and up to the signup table. For the first time, she was surrounded securely by adults; it made her feel safe, like she had parents, in a way the orphanage never had. 

She got a few glares and whispers from passing adults, but no one dared do anything to stop her from signing up - whether that was because Hokage-sama would literally kill them or because Koharu-sama and a shinobi were there was up for debate. Either way, she had let go of her returning hatred long ago.

“Name?” said a Chuunin with a brown ponytail and a wide scar across his nose, without looking up.

“Uzumaki Kamaboko,” said Koharu with dignity. 'Namikaze Uzumaki Kamaboko with a touch of Senjuu,' thought Kama, but all the same, she straightened, feeling a little proud of herself.

The Chuunin looked up with big eyes and took her in. Kama gave her best smile. “... Very well,” he said at last, through gritted teeth, and returned to the signup sheet. 

“Kama,” Koharu whispered, “go play.”

Kama nodded and left. The Konoha Ninja Academy was a vast set of connected buildings, all round and multi-floored with white walls and red roofs and doorways. Konoha and Fire symbols decorated everything. Kama passed by a few classrooms; she saw three person tables layered in vast tiers all the way down to the teacher’s desk on the floor. A jump of excitement formed in the pit of her stomach. She would be in those classrooms.

Eventually, she wandered her way outside into the front courtyard. It was a cold, snowy day in December; the school year started in January, after the New Year. Kama had plenty of things to look forward to, among them dressing up in kimono for New Years and laying offerings for her parents’ graves before going over to Matsuko’s house to have a tea ceremony with her using melted snow for tea-water. So she was humming and happy as she trudged along through the snow, stopping beside a tree swing, the tree’s skeletal, snow-laden branches reaching up toward the sky.

The swings had always been her favorite on the playground. The orphanage workers had never let her play with the other kids, and if she tried to play with kids who weren’t from the orphanage their parents would take them away, but some things on the playground you could do on your own. One of those things was the swings. She loved flying up toward the sky and imagining she was a bird, fluttering along.

She brushed the snow off the swing with one of her gloves, sat down, and began swinging, the thick tree branch that the swing ropes hung from rocking back and forth with her movements.

That was when she heard voices.

“Eww, what’s wrong with your eyes?”

“They look really creepy.”

“Are you some kind of nightmare monster?”

Kama stopped swinging and looked around, frowning. Three older boys were picking on a little girl about her age, who was curled up on the ground in a huddle to defend herself against them. The girl had short dark hair and a pale, heart-shaped face and beautiful silver and blue winter clothes. She was obviously from some important family. Her eyes were pupil-less, a grey-violet color.

“Hey!” Kama ran over and stood in front of the girl, glaring at the leering lead bully. “Leave her alone!”

The girl looked up tentatively.

“What are you gonna do, throw your lipstick at me?” the lead bully mocked, and his cronies laughed.

“At least I don’t have to pick on a defenseless little girl to make up for my micro-sized penis.”

The laughter stopped. The girl behind Kama gasped.

The boy growled, “I’m gonna teach you a lesson -!” and swung a fist at Kama. She dodged neatly right inside of his guard and punched him in the face with a chakra laden fist. He fell over, unconscious.

Kama glared down at the boy’s unconscious form. “You got blood on my glove,” she said, referring to her knuckles, and kicked him. Then she looked up at his friends. “Anybody else want a try?”

“No way…” The other two boys scrambled away. Maybe she’d been too hard on them, but Kama knew from her early orphanage days what it was like to be bullied and have no one there to help you.

She turned around to the girl with a friendly smile, reaching out a hand. “Hey,” she said. “You okay?”

Hinata looked up in awe. Standing there, strong and supremely confident and smiling brightly, was a girl with clan-like face markings, cornflower blue eyes, and flaxen blonde pigtails. She was very beautiful, and wore a periwinkle blue jacket and pants with a warm pink scarf that looked almost as expensive as Hinata’s. The makeup the boy had made fun of was pristine, with a fresh coating of pink lip gloss on her lips.

She was glamorous, sunny, and unabashedly aggressive when it came to fighting for what she thought was right. She was everything that shy, timid, dour Hyuuga Hinata was not, and was instinctively attractive.

“Y-yes,” Hinata said, smiling and taking the hand. “Thank you.” And she let herself be pulled to her feet.

“Don’t listen to them,” said the girl. “I think your eyes are cool.”

“Th-they’re a bloodline limit,” Hinata stammered out shyly. “The Byakugan. They can see for long distances and through techniques and cover. I’m a Hyuuga. Hyuuga Hinata.”

“Really? That’s awesome! Uzumaki Kamaboko,” said the girl. “But you can call me Kama.” She made a face. “Who names their kid Kamaboko, anyway?” she said, and laughed.

“U-umm… I’m sure your parents are very nice people,” said Hinata.

“I’m sure they were,” said Kama. “They’re dead. I’m an orphan.” 

“O-oh, I’m sorry.” Hinata blushed and looked down, mortified. Trust her to screw things up with her first real friend. Hinata had never been allowed friends before; everyone else was supposed to be below the Hyuuga clan heiress. 

Kama laughed. “Eh. You had no way of knowing,” she said, putting a hand behind her head.

“My mother is dead, too,” said Hinata, looking up hopefully.

“Well, that sucks,” said Kama simply. “So, Hinata… you want to be friends?” She looked down and then up underneath her eyelashes, hopefully, her eyes playful.

A smile grew over Hinata’s face, a disbelieving, happy one. This amazing girl wanted to be friends with her! “Yes,” she said. “Let’s be friends.” 

And so they exchanged numbers, and each already had a friend to sit next to on their first day of class introductions together.

-

Hinata and Kama became best friends. Hinata called Kama “Kama-chan” and Kama called Hinata “Hinata-chan.” They stuck together all throughout their days at the Academy, and they spent hours at training fields after school sparring with each other. Kama’s Water Weaving was the perfect counter to Hinata’s Gentle Fist.

But Kama was good for Hinata in other ways.

“You have to go all-out against me, Hinata-chan,” she said passionately. “You can’t be afraid you’ll hurt me. Going all-out against someone you love in a spar doesn’t harm them; it helps them become stronger. You don’t want me to die on a mission, do you?”

“N-no!” said Hinata quickly, looking up from where they were taking a break on the training field.

“Well then you have to fight hard against me, so I can get better! Come on! You can do it, Hinata-chan!”

And slowly, through encouragement and constant reinforcement, Kama gave Hinata increased confidence, strength, and support.

After spars, they would always go to Ichiraku’s. Unbeknownst to Hinata, Kama loved this restaurant not only because it served ramen but because the civilian family who ran it always let Kama in and treated her nicely.

So they would sit at the stainless steel and polished wood bar before the open kitchens and watch their food cook. Teuchi, the old father, was the cook. Ayame, the teenage daughter, was the waitress. A curvy civilian brunette, she always peppered the two of them with questions, talked and teased with them about boys, gave them advice. She said she knew what it was like growing up without a mother, so she had a special attachment to the two of them.

She was like their older sister, and so they called her “Ayame-nee-chan.”

-

Hinata was good for Kama, too. They quickly realized the Academy teachers were trying their level best to sabotage Kama’s education - they would mock her for asking questions, refuse to give her information, and send her out of class a lot for little things.

If Kama had been alone, this might have been a serious problem, but as it was Hinata was always willing to share her notes. They also had a system where Kama would write questions down on a piece of paper and send them toward Hinata, and Hinata would ask the questions instead. The teachers always answered Hinata, and so Kama got the information.

Kama also knew she was a kinesthetic learner, and so they used kinesthetic techniques to help her study. Kama always learned ninja techniques best by being forced to do them over and over again. So for the rope untying technique, Hinata would tie her up and force her to break free of the bonds, for example. Or an abacus could be useful as a kinesthetic visualization tool for math. Or Kama would throw a punch each time she recited a rule, or use metaphors to help her remember things, when it came to names and dates and other such pieces of information. It helped that Kama had already been training her mind for years before she’d even hit the Academy.

Kunoichi had to take kunoichi arts and foreign culture and international relations classes. In addition, all students at the Konoha Ninja Academy learned ciphers and codes, mathematics, reading comprehension, essay writing, history, geography, the standard layout of any Hidden Village, chakra theory, and the fifty or so rules of ninja etiquette. And that was just the academic stuff. 

They also did PT once a week and learned taijutsu, weapons, stealth, espionage and commando tactics (the girls with an emphasis on their “innocent civilian woman” act), psychological warfare, trap making, and survival training. They learned how to jump over shrubs and across tree branches and rooftops, how to walk across narrow horizontal poles and run up inclines. They were taught how to break into buildings, tie and bind the enemy, escape binds, and sketch maps, routes, landmarks, and faces.

They did teamwork exercises and learned team management skills, and they learned how to sense and break out of genjutsu and do what was known as the three Academy ninjutsu: Transformation, Clone, and Replacement.

Slowly, Kama and Hinata improved together. They grew to be the top two kunoichi in their class, always competing with each other playfully when it came to grades.

-

It was all seriousness in the Hyuuga clan sparring room that day. There was going to be a battle: Hanabi vs Hinata, to see who got to be clan heiress.

Hinata faced Hanabi on the mat, Kama’s constant encouragements ringing in her ears. She didn’t want to hurt her sister, but she remembered what Kama had pointed out - that it would hurt Hanabi worse in the long-run if Hinata wasn’t a tough opponent.

And so when Hiashi called, “Begin!” Hinata went all out. And she had been sparring every day with an Uzumaki for months on end, which meant that she could easily beat someone who hadn’t even started at the Academy yet. In a few moves, Hanabi was down with Hinata’s hand poised over her heart. 

Hanabi and Hinata both paused, Hanabi breathing hard, startled.

Hiashi seemed to relax in relief. “I had been worried about you for a while, Hinata,” he admitted. “But as promised, as you have won, you are allowed to keep the clan heiress title. Well done.”

Hinata turned to her father and bowed low, expressionless. “Thank you, Otou-sama.”

And so it was that Kama became unshakeable best friends with the heiress of one of Konoha’s most powerful clans, and an older teenage girl.


	8. The Boy Who Didn't Have Friends

Taijutsu spars at the Academy were always sort of like live sports shows. Everyone crowded around the two combatants in a big circle, shouting and cheering, and the combatants went at each other with no gloves and no protective head gear. The only rule was that you couldn’t step outside the established sparring boundaries.

Today, as usual, Iruka had a problem. Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji were set to fight. They were best friends. Why was this a problem?

Because Chouji was a gentle giant who wouldn’t hit his friend.

“Iruka-sensei?” Chouji turned pleadingly to Iruka. “I don’t want to fight my friend.”

“Come on, Chouji, it’s just a spar. Even the Hokage do this in order to improve their abilities,” Iruka tried. He was the guy with the ponytail and the scar across his nose. Despite his initial resentment, he was actually the only teacher who had never tried to sabotage Kama’s efforts to learn.

But it didn’t look like Chouji was budging.

At last, Shikamaru sighed. He looked bored, but he always looked bored. He stepped out of bounds. “Oops, I broke the rules,” he drawled. “I’m disqualified. It’s troublesome, but I guess you’ll have to go to the next pair.”

Iruka sighed. “One of these days…” he muttered. “Fine. Make the friendship sign.”

Hand signs were made during ninjutsu, of course. There were twelve, and different combinations made different ninjutsu. Konoha ninja in training had to practice doing these at high speeds. But Konoha ninja in training also made hand signs before and after taijutsu spars, more symbolically. They put two fingers up at the beginning of the fight signaling that they were fighting. They interlocked those two fingers at the end of the fight to show that despite the fact that they had just fought, they were still comrades.

Chouji and Shikamaru made the friendship sign and walked off the floor.

“That Shikamaru,” said Yamanaka Ino, giving him the stink eye. “He’s the troublesome one. And that Chouji’s so lazy.”

“You know them, Ino-chan?” said Haruno Sakura curiously.

“Their families are friends with mine.”

“Geez, that guy has no initiative,” said Inuzuka Kiba, referring to Shikamaru. “He’s the kind of guy who’s never going to become a Chuunin.”

“Well, actually, many different situations could -” Aburame Shino began.

“Geez, Shino, stop being so technical, it was a joke,” said Kiba.

“Chouji really needs to get over his fear of sparring. He’ll never improve or help his friends improve like that,” said Kama.

“Right. Because friends spar to help each other survive and get stronger. Right, Kama-chan?” Hinata smiled slightly. She had by now become a much calmer and more confident girl.

Kama smiled back. It was their inside saying. “Right, Hinata-chan.”

“Next spar is Uzumaki Kamaboko versus Uchiha Sasuke!” Iruka called.

“Ooh, Sasuke, huh?” Kama grinned. Uchiha Sasuke, an orphan like herself, was the top shinobi in their class. Cold, silent, and emotionless, he had no friends but was admired somewhat fearfully by everyone. Pale, dark-haired, and handsome, with midnight black eyes, he was also the fantasy of many a girl in their class. Which meant everyone would be against Kama, thinking she was going to lose.

Kama enjoyed a challenge.

“Good luck, Kama-chan,” said Hinata. “Do your best. I know you’ll do well.” Kama and Sasuke both stepped up, facing each other inside the boundaries.

“Sasuke-kun, kick her ass!” Several girls, including Ino and Sakura, were cheering quite loudly for Sasuke. Kama looked over at Hinata, who smiled and gave her a slight nod. She had at least one person in her corner.

“Don’t worry,” said Sasuke flatly. “I’ll make this fast.”

Kama grinned viciously, her sharp teeth showing. “Why don’t you brag after you’ve beaten me. Sasuke-kun?” she said mockingly. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed.

“Make the spar sign,” said Iruka, and they each made the combat sign. “... BEGIN!”

Sasuke flew at her. He was fast, but not chakra-enhanced fast, not Hyuuga fast, and not Water Weaving fast either. Kama bent easily around his punch like water, and he paused in surprise. Then he tried to hit her again; she dodged again. Slowly, she led him around the circle, tiring him out, weaving, ducking, and dodging.

Uchiha taijutsu seemed to consist of hard, fast hits and kicks, whereas Hyuuga taijutsu relied on soft, circular, chakra-laden touches to vital areas. But it was the same for both styles: if they couldn’t touch her, it didn’t work. Sasuke got increasingly frustrated.

“Fight me!” he shouted at last.

Kama grinned. “Okay.” Then suddenly she was right behind him.

Sasuke’s eyes widened. 'When did she…?' Then she pinched a nerve between his shoulder and neck in a vice-like grip, and he crippled over, blinded with pain. That was when she slammed him into the ground.

Then she rolled him over and sat on top of him, still grinning. He blinked, his eyes clearing - and saw those mischievous blue eyes, that bright damned grin. “Gotcha,” she said.

The crowd had suddenly gone silent. “Sasuke-kun was… defeated?” Sakura whispered disbelievingly.

Even Iruka was surprised. But he cleared his throat and said, “Alright, you two. Stand up and make the friendship sign. Kama… very good,” he admitted awkwardly. It was the first time a teacher besides Matsuko had ever praised her.

Sasuke glared at Kama as he stood, anger slowly welling up within him. He was supposed to kill Itachi - and he couldn’t even defeat this girl?! Kama reached out for a hand sign - Sasuke reached forward too - and he grabbed her by the collar, his teeth gritted in fury.

“Sasuke! Let her go!” Iruka barked, stepping forward.

“Relax, Sensei,” said Kama casually, growing more serious. She looked Sasuke in the eye. “Remove that hand or I’ll break it,” she told him.

Sasuke let her go… and stepped back, his face becoming impassive again. “Tch,” he scoffed contemptuously, and he turned around and left the sparring circle. Kama stared after him, for once serious.

-

And then all of a sudden Sasuke was paying attention to a girl. And not in the good way. It was Kama.

Sasuke competed with Kama on everything. He sat behind her in class to match her schoolwork, always requested her during taijutsu spars, stood next to her and compared his aim with hers during weapons sections, and always tried one-up her in ninjutsu and genjutsu breaking. Finally it got to the point where it was ridiculous.

“Sasuke, do you have a problem with me?” Kama asked at last, whirling around to him one day while they were doing long-distance weapons aiming in the training field behind the Academy.

“You’re the only one here who’s better than me,” said Sasuke coldly. “You’re how I measure myself.” He smirked. “If I can beat you, I’ll know I’m improving, and can achieve my goal of killing that man.”

Kama looked puzzled. “I don’t get it… Why can’t we just be friends?”

“I don’t have friends,” said Sasuke darkly, contemptuous. “Ties only weigh me down.”

“That’s a stupid way to look at things,” Kama declared. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, but as usual, Kama didn’t care. “It’s a pity,” she said lightly. “I’m also a clan-name orphan who lives alone. I thought we might be able to understand each other.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened.

“But if you want to be an asshole, fine,” said Kama, turning away. “We can be rivals instead.” Wasn’t that what Senjuu and Uchiha were supposed to be anyway?

“Tch. Like I’d want to be friends with you,” said Sasuke, also turning back to the aiming board. But when he flung, he was watching her again.

Sasuke and Kama competed with each other, sniped at each other, did their level best at sarcasm and insults toward each other. The other girls, delighted, assumed Sasuke hated Kama, who was always picking fights with him.

The truth, of course, was more complex.


	9. Will of Fire

“Today,” said Iruka one day, “I am going to teach all of you about the Will of Fire.

“The Will of Fire is a Konoha philosophy, passed down from generation to generation. You see, some Hidden Villages are vicious, making their ninja kill and threaten one another to become stronger. We in Konoha are not like that. We believe in everyone helping each other become stronger through mutual support.

“The Will of Fire teaches that everyone in Konoha is like a big family. We protect our home and our family, which also means supporting and protecting each other. We value each person, and we never okay unnecessary death. We fight in teams.

“Some villages call us foolish for being so peaceful, pastoral, and democratic. Yet who could deny that Konoha is one of the strongest Hidden Villages in existence? We are strong because we protect our family.

“The ultimate carrier of the Will of Fire is the Hokage. All of our Kage have been democratically elected as the most powerful ninja the village has to offer. Everyone has agreed they should be our leader. Hokage show Konoha the way. They protect everyone in their village from harm. That is why we say they are the ultimate carrier of the Will of Fire. It is why we have a monument, a vast outdoor sandstone wall with their faces carved into it, made especially for them.”

Kama’s eyes had lit up, a smile growing over her face.

-

“I’m going to be Hokage!” Kama announced excitedly outside the Academy that afternoon.

“You want to be Hokage?” said Hinata in surprise.

“Yeah! Don’t you get it? This is perfect!” said Kama enthusiastically. “You know I want to prove everyone wrong about me. What better way than to make my goal to be democratically elected as the best and most powerful ninja in the village? As the village’s ultimate protector?” Her father had been the Hokage, as had her great-uncles Hashirama and Tobirama, the First and Second Hokages, Senjuu both. Her mother and her great-aunt Mito, meanwhile, had been Hokages’ wives. It practically ran in her blood!

“Well, you will have to study politics and government policy,” said Hinata matter of factly. “The Hokage isn’t just a powerful ninja. They assign missions, read mission reports, okay paperwork, make laws, and are the head of the Konohagakure Council, filled with clan heads, important ninja, and even the Daimyo. The Hokage is seen on the same level as the Fire Country Daimyo, and regularly deals with lords and royalty. That’s why we call them ‘-sama.’ They’re supposed to be one of the most powerful ninja in the world.”

“Yeah, which means a girl could never be one!” Kama and Hinata looked around, frowning, to find Kiba standing there grinning. “No girl has ever been a Hokage! No way could a woman be elected as Hokage!” he said.

“You know what, Kiba? Screw you!” said Kama, annoyed. “Now I’m definitely going to be Hokage, just to prove you and everyone else wrong about women!”

“I’d like to see you try,” Kiba jeered.

“You are lucky, Kiba,” said Hinata coldly. “You will have the privilege of getting a front-row seat as you watch her try, and succeed.”

-

The more Kama grew, the more it pissed her off. Everyone told her a woman couldn’t be Hokage! Meanwhile, as she grew and began to have budding curves, she started experiencing sexual harassment at the hands of men in the village - apparently being a female jinchuuriki housing a fox demon made her ‘exotic’, and she had to break more than one hand reaching out to grab her ass.

Thank goodness she could defend herself, or something worse might have happened.

“Look at those long, wrap-around legs!” a man would hoot, leering, in the street.

“Take a good, long look, pal, because they are never wrapping around you!” Kama would snap back, annoyed.

Meanwhile, it seemed like no one, not even grown men and women, knew anything about female anatomy. She heard so many ignorant comments that had been demystified for her long ago. And the public attitude toward rape - don’t even get her started.

Finally, Kama was on her computer one night, and she typed into the search engine, “Why are women treated so badly?” And she found an article on feminism. 

She shrugged. Hinata had said she had to understand politics, right? So she started reading.

And from there, slowly, Kama became interested in the news, politics, feminism, and gay rights. She kept up with what was going on politically in her village, and became a strong supporter of democratic election, peaceful diplomacy, open communication without banning of books or words, and seeing ninja as people instead of weapons. 

She grew her own political voice. And she never gave up on her dream of becoming Hokage someday - not for anybody. Not only did Hinata-chan support her, but the other women in her life did too. "I'd vote for you," said Ayame-nee-chan, grinning. And Koharu and Matsuko both supported her. "You have every recipe for success," said Koharu-sama firmly, and Matsuko-sensei said, "Never let go of your dreams and ambitions. They separate you from stupid girls. The outcasts, the ones who believe they can change the world, are the ones who do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be a time skip to graduation and the beginning of canon.


End file.
